Today marks six years since my mother unexpectedly passed
away. I’ve written a number of posts about grief and grieving, and I still find
all of it true, even six years from that day. I still miss her just as much.
Her absence still hurts just as acutely. I still think about her every day. And
I still wish with all my heart that she was still with me today. With that
being said, one thing that has changed is that I have been learning to live
without her.

There are still times when I reach for my phone to call her
before remembering that that is no longer possible, and there are still times
when I visit home and I expect her to just be in the other room. But, these
times are becoming fewer and further between. I am learning, and I have been
learning, to live my life differently without her.
I love my mother, with all my heart, forever. And I look
forward to the day when we can be reunited again—the greatest blessing of the
saving ordinances of the gospel. But for now, I want to carry on her legacy and
ensure that my family and my children will know at least a piece of my mother.
So with this post, I want to focus on one way I have been doing this very thing
and that is in regards to celebrating holidays.
Aside from my mother’s great love for the gospel and for
others, one of the things that I remember most about her was her love for the
holidays. I’m not just talking about Christmas, but every holiday—even the more
“minor” ones. Each holiday was an event in our household, from Halloween to
Valentine’s Day to Independence Day all the way to Saint Patrick’s Day. My
mother would hang decorations for each holiday at least a month in advance and
do her best to play said holiday’s music and movie selections to get us—her
kids—excited for the celebration awaiting us.
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Family picture by the Christmas tree. |
She taught me traditions for each holiday, and they are
traditions I am determined to keep, along with some of the new ones we're making as a family now. For New Year’s Eve we always stay up
until midnight, eating a feast of Hillshire Farms summer sausages, cheese, and
crackers. For Valentine’s Day we always wear red or pink, and hand out or mail
Valentine’s. For Saint Patrick’s Day, we get all decked out in green and eat
Irish food! This was how I discovered my love for shepherd’s pie. Easter, of
course, was celebrated with a visit from the Easter Bunny, who always hid our
Easter baskets along with plastic eggs full of candy. My mom would also read us
the story of Christ’s resurrection, the reason we celebrate Easter.
For our birthdays, we would get to pick dinner that night, and we would get to have a birthday party with friends each year. I remember when I was eight, I wanted an Apollo 13 themed birthday, since I was so very into astronomy and that movie is awesome. And, my mom found a way to do just that and make it fun for everyone who came out. Independence Day we would either watch fireworks or shoot off our own while
enjoying some good backyard barbecue. And then Halloween! Halloween is a big
deal for our family with the whole house made up to be haunted, scary movies
playing all the time, big Halloween parties, corn mazes, haunted houses, and we
always dress up. Thanksgiving brings time with family, and lots of food,
turkey, and pumpkin. We would always watch the Thanksgiving Day parade, and we
would make paper hand turkeys. Christmastime was full of the wonderful holiday
music playing clear until the new year, with a new Christmas movie and story
every day, with re-tellings of Luke 2 and the story of Christ’s birth, and with
so many more traditions! With each upcoming holiday, I tell my family the
stories of Grandma Taylor and how she would make these days extra special. I
tell my daughter how excited we would get for the holidays, and how they would
break up the monotony of the regular days of the year. There was always
something to look forward to, and even now as an adult, I remember how
celebrating each holiday also taught me how to hope for good things to come. This was one way, one big way, that my mother showed her love for me.
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My whole family decked out for our annual Halloween party. Mom was the Queen of Hearts. |
I know that some people don’t like celebrating holidays, or
even hearing about how others celebrate the “minor” holidays. But I don’t make
a big deal about these days for anyone other than my family (and for the people
I really love). This is how I am honoring my mother’s memory and this is how
her memory will live on in the minds and hearts of my children who never really
got the chance to know their amazing Grandma Taylor. These are the days I feel
closest to my Mom, and I will continue to cherish the memories I have of her as
I create new memories in her honor with each upcoming holiday.
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